TIPS FOR MUMS: Making the most of your 'me' time

The Kleenex Mums survey results showed that finding time for ourselves is a major stress for many mums. When we finally get our hands on some 'me' time, we feel the pressure to use it wisely. Here are five tips on how to make the most of your 'me' time. So go on, enjoy it...

• 1. Savour the moment. Steal just 15 minutes for yourself in your chaotic day, and recharge your batteries. Step away from the laundry, take a moment away from picking up the toys and head outside. Breathe in some fresh air, and sip on a cup of tea. Enjoy the peace and quiet, and savour the moment, and your ‘me’ time.
• 2. Do something active. Schedule in some exercise. A little bit of exercise each day (or every second day) is good for the soul and amazing for your health.
• 3. Do something enjoyable. Fill a small part of your day doing something you enjoy. Listen to your favourite song, drink your favourite drink, or read a magazine. Whatever it is that you enjoy, make sure you schedule it into your day.
• 4. Do something challenging. Set small goals for yourself and conquer them. Whether it be finishing a crossword, or learning something new, the sense of achievement you feel from challenging yourself will give you quite the buzz.
• 5. Pamper yourself. Give yourself a quick manicure, a facial mask, blowdry your hair or soak in a big bubble bath. Pamper yourself at least once a week.

This is an excerpt from the free Mum’s the Word e-book. Kleenex Mums is Australia’s biggest community of mums, and dedicated to sharing information regarding about family life, home, school, recipes and kids health. Jump online and share the collective wisdom of being a mum at www.kleenexmums.com.au

BEATING THE BOOGIEMAN AND OTHER NIGHT-TIME FEARS

While it may be a very common part of growing up, having to cope with a child’s fear of the dark can often leave parents at a loss. The important thing to remember is that these fears are perfectly normal, even if they seem to spring up from nowhere, and that there are a number of ways to help your child through this difficult stage.
The most common cause of a child’s fear of the dark stems from a rapidly developing imagination. Prior to 2 or 3 years of age, children have difficulty grasping the concept that objects exist when they can’t be seen. After a few years they learn that objects still exist in the dark, but they may be frightened by things “hiding” in the darkness, or by the way shadows appear to change or take on scary shapes and sizes. In older children, the cause is far more likely to be linked to stress or anxiety. Children can be surprisingly perceptive, picking up on a parent’s tense behaviour or worries, or responding to something they may have seen on TV or heard from a friend. At night, with fewer distractions, such concerns can leap to the front of a child’s mind.

• Talk it out
  In both cases, the best way to address the problem is to talk with your child. Encouraging them to talk about their fears is the most important step in eventually overcoming them, because it teaches your child that their fears are something that they can deal with. Ask them what would make them feel safer, and offer suggestions like night-lights, a lamp by their bed or special comforters (blankets, toys and so on) yourself. Control over a situation is a big help.
• Develop routines
  Getting into the habit of a bedtime routine can help your child relax before it’s time to sleep. Rule out things like scary books, TV and video games. Make sure the things they watch during the day are age-appropriate. It’s easy for a child to be frightened by news footage or scary movies. Instead focus on thinks like soft music, reading to them aloud or having them read independently. A predictable routine is a great way to reduce anxiety.
• Their fear is real, even if the causes aren’t
  There is a fine line between acknowledging a child’s fear and pandering to it. A parent shouldn’t go around checking in closets or under beds for monsters, because this shows a child that there could be something in there. On the same note, a parent should be willing to check on a child, but falling in to a routine of sleeping in their room or letting them sleep in yours can lead to bad habits. However, it is important that you don’t belittle or mock them for it. Set a good example by showing that you understand their fears, even if you don’t share them.

General tips for establishing an effective bedtime routine for your child

• Look at what you would include in a bedtime routine and make sure you are getting started early enough, as bedtime needs to be calm and not rushed. Try to give yourself an hour for the whole process.
• Try and pick a bedtime and stick to it so your child knows and feels comfortable with the routine.
• Make a chart of the routine until your child gets to know the bedtime process.
• Darkness causes an increase in the release of the body’s sleep hormone, so you can align your child’s sleepiness with bedtime by dimming the lights during the hour before bedtime.

An example of a step-by-step bedtime routine

• 1. Active kids = sleepy kids.
• Children who get ample daily exercise tend to fall asleep quicker, sleep better and longer, and wake up feeling refreshed. Exercise is stimulating however, so avoid activity in the hour before bedtime.
• Avoid giving your children drinks with caffeine, including chocolate and soft drinks, especially from the afternoon onwards.

• 2. Give your child 5 to 10 minutes notice before their bedtime routine begins.
• This allows any current activity to be finished and for your child to settle down.

• 3. Bath-time.
• Bath-time is an important aspect of the bedtime ritual, and you should allow time for it when it suits your individual nightly schedule.
• Sitting in warm water is a soothing experience, and getting your child warm, clean and dry is a great way to ease them into bedtime.
• A bath is also a wonderful way for you to spend some special time with your child.

• 4. Time to say goodnight.
• Many children enjoy going around the room or the house and saying goodnight to favourite toys, people and pets.
• Make sure you know when to say when, though: if your toddler insists on saying goodnight to every single stuffed toy in his bedroom, it's a safe bet he's trying to put off bedtime a little longer!

• 5. Make sure your child is comfortable.
• Try to make sure all needs have been attended to before bedtime so there is no reason to get out of bed.
• Your child may like to have a night-light on, the door slightly open, or a drink of water.
• Some children find it comforting to sleep with a favorite item, such as a stuffed animal or blanket.
• Check the temperature in your child's room, and make sure clothes do not restrict movement.

• 6. Have a chat to your children.
• Bedtime is a nice chance for children and their parents to spend some time talking to each other.
• You could discuss your day and ask your child to tell you about the best and worst things that happened to them, as well as anything that's worrying them. This may help work through any anxieties or fears they are harbouring and allow a better night's sleep.

• 7. Read a bedtime story.
• Not only will your toddler learn new words but they will also benefit from the time spent with you.
• Children listening to a parent read a book will tend to lie still and listen. This quiet stillness allows him to become sleepy.
• For a toddler, choosing a bedtime story can provide a chance to assert some control over the nightly routine. This may mean you have to read the same story for a week or so, but it makes them feel important being able to pick their own book.

• 8. Time for goodnight.
• Finish with a cuddle and a kiss, and then leave the room while your child is still awake so they learn to settle themselves.
• Try not to return to your child's room each time they call out. If you give in to bedtime requests, they will learn that bedtime is not really bedtime.